S01 E15 - Q&A: What to do when you're frustrated with your partner


Your perception is your reality.

The world that you live in is heavily influenced by the stories you tell yourself - whether they are true or not.

Let’s look at some examples from the scriptures.

Example #1: Captain Moroni VS Pahoran (Alma 60-61)

Captain Moroni was becoming increasingly upset about the lack of help from the government during the war against the Lamanites. His soldiers were starving, their numbers were dwindling, and their pleas for help were left continuously unanswered.

We’re all too familiar with the angry letter he sent to Pahoran, the Chief Judge of Zarahemla.

He called Pahoran lots of nasty things - slothful, neglectful, traitor, thoughtless, idle, etc…

He accused him of being vain and loving the glory of the world.

He threatened to come and stir up rebellions and take away Pahoran’s power with force if he didn’t repent of all the things he was accusing him of.

Do you feel uncomfortable yet?? I sure do!

Pahoran quickly wrote him back to inform him that none of those things were true. In fact, he was a little preoccupied with his own issues. He had been kicked out and overthrown by some bad men who had taken control of the city.

He couldn’t have helped Moroni even if he wanted to!

Luckily, Pahoran was a pretty forgiving dude… They were able to forgive each other and work together to regain control of Zarahemla and then send reinforcements and supplies to those in need.

However…. Can you imagine what would have happened if Pahoran had taken offense to Moroni’s incorrect perceptions of the situation? It could have been an absolute disaster!

Example #2: People of Limhi VS Lamanites (Mosiah 20)

The King of the Lamanites had promised the people of Limhi with an oath that they wouldn’t slay them as long as they payed them tribute. It was a mutual agreement, and it brought several years of peace between them.

One day, the wicked priests of King Noah kidnapped some Lamanite girls. The Lamanites assumed that it had been the people of Limhi and were so angry that they broke their oath and went to battle against them.

Lots of people were killed before the King of the Lamanites was found and brought before Limhi. When the King was made aware of his error, he tried to explain to his people and re-create the peace that was already established.

Even though they stopped the battle, the relationship between the two groups of people was already damaged. There were still lots of residual hard feelings from the Lamanites towards the people of Limhi, and they made their lives super miserable for many years afterwards.

All because of their false perception of what really happened.

What story are you telling yourself about your relationship?

Is it true?

How do you know?

In this week’s episode of the podcast, we answer a question from one of our listeners. We talk about how the stories you tell yourselves and what you choose to focus on has a direct correlation with the quality of your relationship.

Do you focus on the giant pile of dishes in the sink, or on the amazing dinner your spouse made you?

Do you focus on the dirty socks left next to the bed, or freshly shoveled driveway?

Do you focus on all the hours your partner spends apart from you, or on all the hard work being done to provide for the family?

What you tell yourself is what you believe.

What you choose to see becomes your own reality.

Give this week’s episode a listen to learn how to assure that the stories you are telling yourself are in your favor.

Let us know any insights you gain in the comments!

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