In part 2 of our LIVE recording, we tackle two more questions from the guys!
“My wife and I are trying to conceive. This is one of the most stressful times of my life, and stress is a major anti-aphrodisiac for me. How do I confront the pressure to perform?
"My wife has a “fun” sexual past with her high school boyfriends. Before we dated she had shared too many of those experiences with me. I was fine with it, until I woke up to her crying on our wedding night. It triggered a jealousy and resentment where I feel she gave “them” her fun self. I got the Mormon prude and they got the fun girl. I love her, but I feel like she has never chosen me. I get that I’m at fault with the unforgiving heart and mad with jealousy that has built emotional walls. I feel like all our sex has been mercy sex. I don’t even want to have sex with her because that’s what it is. When we become intimate all I can see is her doing “this” with “them.” It makes me regret and feel bitterness that I strived to stay a virgin and be as "clean" as I could. I feel like I have lived life wrong. Since she is a terrific good person and she has the “dirty” past, she is the better more healthy person while I am the bitter/resentful seminary graduate boy. It makes me hate myself that I can’t get over that. I’m over 15 years into this and the cloud just gets darker and bigger. How can I start becoming more intimate with my wife while suffering with this intense jealousy? I just finished your course enhancing sexual intimacy and I am grateful for you and what you are doing. So, thank you and I would love to here your answer knowing it will be painful.”
About Our Guest
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife is a LDS relationship and sexuality coach as well as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor in the state of Illinois. She has a Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology. In addition to her dissertation research on LDS women's sexuality and relationship to desire, she has taught college level human sexuality courses. Her teaching and coaching focuses on helping LDS individuals and couples achieve greater satisfaction and passion in their emotional and sexual relationships.
In addition to consultation with couples and individuals (in person and online), she offers online relationship and sexuality courses as well as live workshops and retreats for LDS couples and individuals.
Jennifer is a frequent guest on LDS-themed podcasts and write articles for LDS-themed blogs and magazines, on the subjects of sexuality, relationships, mental health and faith.
Want to attend Jennifer’s weekend workshop, The Art of Desire? Click here:
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Want to listen to past episodes of Ask A Mormon Sex Therapist? Click here:
The advice offered through "Ask a Mormon Sex Therapist" podcast is educational and informational in nature and is provided only as general information. It is not meant to establish a therapist-patient relationship or offer therapeutic advice, opinion, diagnosis treatment or to establish a standard of care. Although Dr. Finlayson-Fife is a trained psychotherapist, she is not functioning in the role of a licensed therapist during these sessions, but rather using her training to inform these sessions. Thus, the content is not intended to replace independent professional judgment. The content is not intended to solicit clients or patients; and should not be relied upon as medical or psychological advice of any kind or nature whatsoever. The information provided through the Content should not be used for diagnosing or treating a mental health problem or disease. The information contained in these communications is not comprehensive and does not include all the potential information regarding the subject matter, but is merely intended to serve as one resource for general and educational purposes.